Debbie Downer or Lucy Liftup

It's no secret that I have been feeling down lately.  I would even venture to say that I am feeling depressed.  Not clinically, not a forever depression, but blue.  Like I like to tell my BFF, Cathy, that I have  "the old man sitting on the corner singing the blues kinda blue".

Most of it comes from my job  I am currently part time and that just doesn't help to pay the bills, which just makes me sad.  Then I search for a new job and I don't feel qualified for anything or maybe I should say I am scared to try.  Then when I do go to work I have 8 hours of work to do in 4.  I feel rushed, I have a lot of pressure to do it right but mistakes happen and that upsets me.

So when anything gets to be too much for me I turn to the Bible and God for help.  I looked up scriptures on depression, but next to it was discouragement and despair and I thought, yeah that's it.  I found Psalm 3:3
But You O Lord are a shield for me, my glory and the lifter of my head.

The "lifter of my head".  I love that, I feel like I have been walking in despair with my head down, and although there are downers in life, there are also lifters.  So, who am I - a Debbie Downer or a Lucy Lifter.

I would say that most days I am trying to be a Lucy, but today I was a Debbie.  I let a crowd get to me, I let people talking to me and asking me questions unravel me.  I became a downer until someone pointed it out (Tammy) and showed me the positives in my negatives. 

Don't tell Parke

Let me give you a situation that has arisen here at home.  Two love birds are building a nest in a window I have above my back door.  I see new life and I am excited that they chose my door.(Lucy Liftup)  Parke on the other hand sees, in his words, "Two pigeons that are going to shit all over the back porch." (Debbie Downer) Parke has been constantly chasing them and destroyed there nests, but as I type this blog they are flying back and are building the nest again.  Every so often as I look up I see a feather here and there and I smile. 

Lastly let me share this from my Everyday Life Bible -

"When people disappoint us, God wants us, instead of becoming discouraged and depressed, to decide to lift up our heads and eyes and look at the possibilities, not the problems around us, trusting Him to lead us into an even better situation--because He has one for us."

No matter what, I have two choices 1) to quit 2) to keep on going.  If I keep on going I again have 2 choices - either to live in constant depression or to live in hope and joy.  Hope being the key word for me there.

Do I feel better now that I wrote it all down. No, it is a work in progress.  Baby steps.   But now I don't feel so alone.  Not quite as scared.  I have hope and I have God, the lifter of my head.